A post for Brian. And a question for you.
Wednesday, Dec 21, 2011 115 Comments Brian woke up in a super bad mood yesterday. Totally Grumpy McGrumperstons. He told me it was because he had a dream that he and i were headed off on our vacation (one that i promised we would take) but whilst on the plane i asked the flight attendant if i could move seats to sit away from him so i could get more work done.
(photo by Ray Katchiatorian)
Look how sad he is. You know when you have a dream that is so upsetting that you can't help but be upset for the first half of your day? That's how he was. I kept thinking at least i wasn't cheating on him in his dream, but in a way its just so close to home and so real that it was way more upsetting for him and me. I mean, who dreams about being ignored???
It's so weird because i'm very much not a workaholic. I didn't think. But when it comes to the fun stuff (conceputalizing, shopping, blogging) I would prefer doing it over almost anything else. Sure, i'm not dying to invoice or tape receipts, but i could pinterest all night .
Champagne problems, i know. So we can't stay in at night because i'll just sit on my computer all night long. But while out to dinner this is what happens:
Brian, "whatcha thinking about?"
Me: "Whether the mirror in the lake house should go vertical or horizontal - vertical is easier in a lot of ways, we just have to lean it - but it is really tall and wide and would be pretty amazing horizontal, too, and would absolutely command the room - but its 200 pounds so hanging it has to be done professionally and its a commitment. And if we hang it horizontal then we probably don't need a credenza or buffet underneath it BUT it would make the room longer in a way, so maybe we put it in the tv nook where there isn't a lot of light to bring life into that area of the room."
(from domino, not the house)
Or last night it was:
Brian, 'whatcha thinking about?'
Me: 'i'm not sure what lamp shade would look best on the wig-head lamp. A white rectangle makes it more modern, but part of me wants to do it in navy or hot pink to match her lips - but at the same time they need more light and darker linen shades always create less light AND i'd have to special order them which would take longer because i'd like to finish the installation sooner and we are out of money'.
I'm such a fun date.
We'll go to the movies and unless it involves Ryan Gosling, OR beautiful teenagers almost kissing and probably being vampires, then i don't really even see it. My eyes are open, but I may as well not be there because all i'm thinking about is whether i should recommend splurging on the Madeline Weinrib rug for $1500 or saving a ton of money and buying the West Elm for $200 on sale right now. One is more superior but also 7 times the price....
So we had plans to get out of the country over the holidays and go to Guatemala, Cuba, Panama or Nicaragua to distract me. You know, places where we don't know how to cross the street or order the food. Where every second is interesting and we are exhausted at the end of the day and we create memories we'll never forget.
Us in Laos, above. Caving below:
hanging in Vietnam:
We normally are lucky enough to fly on standby passes from Brian's EXTREMELY generous handsome, funny and smart uncle who was a pilot for a long time, but all the flights are totally full over the holidays and our plan is failing quickly. And my January is sooooo crazy right now with 5 houses to work on (one a total reno outside of New York), 4 out of town speaking engagements (Alt Summit, COME!!!, Atlantasmart COME!! and two privates). Plus the book, product lines, etc. Oh and we are moving into a three bedroom and that place isn't going to decorate itself. And then we start shooting probably in february which is a 60 hour a week job.
Plus i must paintball:
Why am i telling you all of this?
Normally i think its totally annoying when people talk about how busy they are, its like 'yep, i know, most of the world is, too'. It's just uninteresting and kinda bragging. But I'm trying to rationalize something. I'm making a case. Keep reading.
The amount of things i have to be grateful for is enormous right now. I don't think i've ever been happier. Seriously.
But
I love my husband more than my blog.
There. I said it.
It makes me terribly sad that i've overextended myself to the point of prioritizing my work over him. It's weird because i don't feel not close to him at all, but if he doesn't feel close to me, then its true. Dudes don't really bull sh*t when it comes to talking about their feelings, they aren't exactly begging for 'a talk' unless they really need one.
So i need to scale something back and the blog is the only thing that i'm not really obligated to do. So here's the question: Would you rather have me write all the content but post less (like 2-3 times a week) OR get dope-*ss people to write for the blog twice a week - bloggers who's voice, personality, writing and talent i love? The blogs that i check everyday and have for years. The blogs that who i think are influential, entertaining and relevant? And never ever, ever, ever, cheesy.
I would never dilute the blog with randoms, i promise - but if it was the same cast of characters, and people who you know with totally interesting perspectives and great design ideas, would you be into it? I'm talking Bri, Jen, Nat, Morgan, Joy (wait, she just had a baby, probably too busy), Orlando.... you get the idea. It'll be full of snark, wit, happiness and taste.
I've considered just posting less, but now it is a business that gives me a sense of security that i don't want to neglect. Its too important to me.
I promise to post personally 2-3 times a week, but they would be more thought out and all original posts, like i used to - less phoned in. And then 2 times a week you get to hang out with my friends?
And then i get to hang out with Brian. And work on my EFFING dollhouse. (FEBRUARY 1st due date, i know, i'm so sorry. i'm totally ashamed of myself and i've been punishing myself enough so please forgive me).
And also I could enjoy the christmas tree that Brian bought and decorated by himself yesterday. I mean, shame on me for not decorating my own tree. I suck. Its the cutest, sweetest thing i've ever ever seen. I'm going to add some touches, and i'll post pics, i promise.
So, friends, are you with me? Will you stop reading? Or will you be happier that the posts re better - more original content and more diversity?
Reader Comments (115)
husbands come first, that's why we marry them. your blog won't write itself but your friends can help and your readers can wait. DO IT and totally ask me to guest blog. see you at alt and have a merry christmas.
I'm with you! You won't lose this reader. Hopelessly devoted to youuuu.
Plus, I love Nat the Fat Rat.
Now go smooch your cute husband.
Blog less! We will see love you.... I took a 'summercation' from blogging in July and reduced my blogging to 3x a week and haven't gone back. It's so much nicer...and you know what - if you don't post 3x times a week, who cares? We will get over it! It will also make us look forward to when you DO post!!!!
Keep it genuine and in your own voice...
Meagan
Family always comes first. Always! Post a little less and spend time with the love of your life. Or get guest bloggers. Whatever you need to do. Scrabble is a good game to play, by the way, that requires focus so that your mind doesn't get too cluttered with work when you are supposed to be enjoying down time. Plus, you'd probably kick arse with all the decoratey terms you know! ;D
"Decoratey" would not be a valid word in Scrabble, just for the record.
There will always be work, you only have one Brian. GO.
I'm with you!
I don't mind less frequent posting at all. Let's face it, I don't have the time to read it every day, much less post to my own blog, so I completely understand, and I think most of your readers will too. And wait...did I hear you drop a line about a book? Happy day, I've been waiting for some published Emily on my coffee table! But, ya know, take your time working on it, us adoring fans can wait. ;) I wouldn't mind postings from your friends, but no offense to them at all, but I come to your blog to hear what you have to say, not just for random entertainment/design tips daily. Ya know? God I hope that didn't sound rude. Anyways, happy holidays and I'll keep reading no matter what!
YES!! Do what you need to do to keep the things that are most important to you close to you heart.. thank you so much for sharing this and making us think about how we care for those around us!!! Happy Christmas!!! Go somewhere special with your man!!!
you should totally spend more time with your husband. marriage is the other job, it's not gonna maintain itself.
personally, i prefer to read posts you write yourself, even if less frequent, the other bloggers are great, and i already read their posts on their blogs. but you won't lose reader regardless. :)
Emily first I seriously want to applaude you for being brave enough to post all this on the Internet!!! And second, husbands are more important than any ole' blog, of course! It's always so hard though I know to admit when you're totally over your head in work. I get like that too and nothing feels different, but then I realize that my amazing husband has cooked dinner every night, not complained when none of the laundry was done, and planned special outings just to make me happy. Sweet and amazing, yes but then I notice maybe he doesn't look as happy as usual. Well yeah, he's been doing all the work while I've been too busy to really even appreciate him properly! So, yeah. To answer your question, honestly I'm going to read your blog no matter what, but I would definitely be open to the idea of guest posts. I hope you all have a good holiday (even if you end up not traveling anywhere) and remember...just breathe (and love that handsome man of your extra)! :)
I'll still be a reader no matter how often you post! I come for the fun read (your writing is so great!), which would be decidedly less fun if you started to resent the blog for the time it takes away from being with your handsome hubby.
Blog when you genuinely feel like blogging and I'll be here to read it.
i will never stop reading your blog, emily. you are my virtual bestie. take care of yourself and your husband!
love,
love,
love,
and merry
Hey! Don't knock the cheese... I love a bit of cheese mixed in with some snark, wit and great design... Post less. Don't sacrifice your boy.
i've never posted but i love your blog, love your work, love your style! anyway...you are so right to prioritize your husband - DO IT. i think i'd rather you just post less, but post yourself. most of us (probably) read those other folks already, and it would be a shame if your blog just started to feel like what's already flooding our readers, you know? but i'll read either way, so do what you want! xo
Husbands First! It is SO SO SO hard for me to juggle my interior design business, virtual design clients, & blogging, while trying to be the amazing wife my oh so amazing husband deserves. There are some days I want to fire myself... but I love what I do! I am trying to create a balanced, organized idea for the upcoming year! I say make your husband your priority, everything else will fall into place!
P.S. If you need any guest posters... I can help too!
Emily,
I absolutely love you, your show, and your blog! I check it almost daily. With that said, this blog, ain't going to keep you warm at night. I can handle less posts if it ensures a better personal life and thus, professional life. Brian seems like quite the character, give the man the attention he wants and deserves (wow, this is sounding really sappy. not at all what I intended). Your awesome and so are your friends-especially Orlando (call me). So, get some guest bloggers. It's the beginning of an Empire damn it! You can be the Oprah of design. You think Oprah is the only one writing for her blog-NO, homegirl has help. Oh, and leave the damn tree alone! Brian decorated it for you, don't ruin the moment.
I would be thrilled if you posted once a MONTH! It would be like a special treat.
Whatever makes you happier will make you a better stylist & blogger. Thanks for all the inspiring things you do!
Definitely spend time with your hubby! Readers and fans will still love you! Not everyone blogs 5 days a week, and no one expects you to give up your real life for your online life. It's hard for anyone doing as much as you do to also find time to write without losing all hours of sleep. I can't imagine being that busy and still having the time. Guest bloggers are good for different special topics, but not totally necessary. On the other hand, you have tons of fans who blog who would love a chance to help you write (I'm one of them!) It's so sweet that you thought of your readers and wanted opinions, but none of us would ever want you to choose us over your true love! Good luck and try to relax, we'll still be here when you're ready.
I vote YOU blog less. I think people love YOU and that's why they read YOU and would be much more likely to stick around to see if you have posted any new content. (As opposed to say, checking in and seeing someone else, they might just check out. I may be projecting because that's what I would do. bounce.) I don't know maybe you could try to start with just one guest poster like once a week - and then make a comment on what he/she says for awhile to transition. But I really believe people simply adore you as a person, the words that you say and how you say them; but posting 2 times a week seems totally reasonable! And honestly I don't even check in on ANY blogs more than 2 times a week. Good Luck! Oh, and I agree, don't touch that tree!
Blog less and that way each one of your post will be more valuable to us readers. Family always come first! Even tough we would be thinking about our blog in the back of our heads haha :)
If you can Emily, check out my post about when we met last week. I have a very cute picture of you two that hopefully you can cherish with this post today. Coincidence much? :)
http://www.larysubero.com/wp/?p=4194
Bravo for putting your marriage first and being honest with everyone. I've been feeling like I should take a similar stance and spend time with my husband and not just next to him while I work on the macbook.
I would love occasionally hearing from Orlando, or others close enough to provide updates on your work, but I don't think you need to try and make this blog into a 6 post per week lifestyle site, unless that's a priority for you. We're all here because we're your fans and want to see what you're up to, and if that means 2 posts a week then we'll be here to read them. :) Enjoy Christmas with your husband!
I think most of us read your blog and are fans because of YOUR taste and style. So it stands to reckon that your taste in other blogs/bloggers will undoubtedly be exceptional and something everyone will enjoy. We won't read less that's for sure!
Also, Brian and I had the same costume for Halloween :)
I think Orlando would be great. He's funny, but more importantly, he's your assistant so he really knows what was going on.It would probably also be easiest for you, since you wouldnt have to explain that much to him.
you're in my feed so I will read when you do post! love that you are prioritizing and loving your husband, he sounds wonderful!
merry christmas!!
He decorated the tree by himself??? That totally tugged at my heart. Family is more important than anything else, even if you are fortunate enough to love what you do for a living. Life is short. Spend as much of it as possible with the love of your life. All those other bloggers are fabulous but they already have blogs of their own where they share their amazing taste and awesome wit. I say post less maybe with an occasional guest post. It'll be fine.
By the way, we are having Christmas dinner this year in my sister's most lovely retro Polynesian dining room ala Emily's awesome show. It already reminds me of a Chinese restaurant from the eighties (that's a good thing) so it seems fitting to eat Christmas dinner there. Like an homage to A Christmas Story.